Are you kidding me?

I didn't do much last Friday. I had dinner with my friend at the restaurant Nick manages and then met up with a couple of coworkers to watch 2 80s bands. They weren't bad either. I can't lie either... I met up with Jorge after.

Saturday I went out to dinner with Nick. I had a great time. He picked me up we went to his families restaurant and then went home. It was an "actual" date. And it felt nice. He isn't pushy and can hold a great conversation. I did notice though when I got home I was thinking about Jorge. But I made sure I didn't contact him.

Sunday I met up with Oscar. Who well its complicated between us. We knew each other in high school and we would hang out and go places. We would be with each other for like 2-3 month's at a time and could go for over a month without seeing each other. Anyway, we reconnected again and its like we picked up from where we left off at... Well almost from there. As we are talking I found out that when I was married and lived in my house he lived with his then girlfriend and daughter right around the corner and down the block from me. They broke up and his ex and daughter moved to the other side of the city. When I separated and moved out I move into the apartment complex right behind theirs. My oldest and middle children went to the same high school and was friends with his daughter. It gets better... His daughter and my daughter were on the same cheer squad and same softball team. And wait there's more... Now one of his friends is the father to my daughters best friend. Of wait it doesn't stop there... He knows my dad and will go out with him from time to time. They play handball and racquet ball together. On top of it when I was in high school hanging out with him my parents NEVER met him. I was like are you kidding me?! When I found out. I couldn't believe it. All to weird.

Am I boring??

I was out in Wednesday night with Tony at the casino. We met up for a couple of drinks. During our conversation he kept yawning the whole time. At first I didn't think much of it. But after awhile it was becoming annoying. He asked me if I was tires. I thought this was my chance to address it but in a polite way. So I said yes a little you? And to my surprise he said no he was full of energy. So it only leads me to believe that either 1) our conversation was boring him or 2) I was boring him. Either way I am done... So it looks like another one bites the dust....

Should I have stayed married?

I often ask myself this question. Dating sometimes sucks. But then again it can also be fun to get out and meet new people.

However I still find myself asking this question.  Earlier this week I found out that my ex husband is moving out of his house with his now (or soon will be) ex girlfriend. He asked if he could stay with me for a little while until he finds a place. There was a quick moment when the question of "should I have stayed married?" crossed my mind then. I don't think this question would have crossed my mind if this whole Jorge situation didn't come up. Even though it crossed my mind I came to realize really fast that it wouldn't be better. My ex and I are in a good place right now so why change it. I don't think either one of us has changed the way the other person would want. So why end up in the same situation I was in before.

I did some thinking and talking/seeing Jorge over the past week. I have come to realize that we are just in two different places right now in our lives. He wants someone who is a friend, FWB, and someone he is seeing. But at the same time he doesn't want to see other people. He said that he would try to make me a priority. But like I told him I will believe it when I see it. If you really like someone I would think that making them a priority would come easy and you wouldn't have to make an attempt. Because you would actually want to see that other person. When I saw him during the week it hit me like a ton of bricks. He was telling me how he enjoys spending time with me but he made a promise to himself. And after hearing it I understand more where he is coming from. But when he was talking about the future I wasn't in there at all. And it hurt. But like I said it hit me like a ton of bricks. Its not fair to me to wait around for him and not see other people if he doesn't want to take the next step. I am not ready to cut him out of my life all together yet either. I do like him and do care for him and I still want to see him from time to time. I just know that I need to keep my distance a little also and not get further investered with feelings. I know myself and I know what mind set I need to be in and I have done it before so I think I can do it again.

Last week I meet this guy Tony when I went out with my cousins. I meet up with him last night with a couple of his friends. His friends were a little tipsy when I got there. There was a guy outside smoking when I walked up to the door. He asked if I was going in and I said yes. He then asked if I wanted a shot. For anyone that knows me knows that 1) I don't turn down shots. Especially if its free and 2) I am nice and like meeting new people. Sometimes its better to be nice to people then rude. He asked if I was there with anyone and I told him I was meeting my friend. As we walk to the bar I see Tony. Turns out they are friends. Who would have guessed. I had a great time hanging out with them. But I wouldn't mind getting to know Tony when its just him and I.

How old is a man before the games stop?

I am back.  It's been about a year and a lot has happened.  A lot of people have asked me why I didn't keep my blog up.  I don't really have an answer for that.  So here's a little update...

How old is a man before he stops playing games on a woman?  And I use the term man loosely.  For those of you that either 1) don't remember or 2) didn't know, I was "dating" a guy named Jorge for roughly around a year and 4 or 5 months.  So far the longest for me since my divorce.  I actually thought I found a guy where I could have a steady relationship with and not a FWB but also not one where we are rushing to the alter either.   But one where I could take to different social events and have fun without the pressure of him or I thinking we were going to get married.  Sure it took a while for that to develop but I actually I found someone where I was progressing and not staying in the same situation.  But then the games started.  And honestly if I wanted to continue to be in a relationship where games were being played I would have stayed married. If I wanted a FWB situation I could have had one with someone who lived a little closer.  Example would be that he says he misses me but then will break plans with me or when I invite him to functions he declines.  Yet Jorge would say he doesn't want to  have a FWB and  he enjoys time we spend together and wants to move forward.  Did I believe him??  Yes of course.  Mainly because I wanted to.  But actions speak louder then words.  So yesterday when I broke it down for him (after excuses were made on why he couldn't meet me out) I asked him what he wanted.  He asked me what I wanted and I answered and his response was that if I wasn't getting what I wanted from him I would have to make that decision for myself.  And after I went through the emotions of being hurt and upset with his answer I have come to realize that he is right.  I have a decision to make.  And it's hard because I do like him and don't want to lose him yest at the same time I don't deserve to be treated as always being second either.

As I was getting ready to hang out with my friend Jay tonight Jorge happened to text me asking if I made it home safe.  My first thought was that he doesn't deserve to know.  And then after about an hour thinking about it I responded and said yes.  He texted back and so did I.  My responses were VERY short.  His last response was that he does cares about me.  Sorry but he doesn't get right to try and come back in.  I am not falling for his games anymore.  Why is it so hard for a guy to come out and say listen I like you but I am not ready for a relationship so let's just keep it as a FWB situation.  Just keep me in the loop.  At least then I know where I stand and what to expect.  I can then decide on my own whether I can continue and not get feelings involved or whether my feelings are too deep and it wouldn't be good.  But grow some balls and be a man and be honest.